Friday, 30 October 2009

I'm all tied up at the moment

The story about the bound hugfriend:

He is quite dominant, my hugfriend. So I tied him up. Not really like that maybe, but basically.

I’m not the ma/ist/e/ress of ropes at all, and he isn’t either, so I figured we should play around and workshop a bit in a nonsexual way to see what we could accomplish with our 10 metres of rope. Turns out that “nonsexual” was not one of the things.

I started out tying his feet together and attaching that to a rope I then attached to a leg in each corner of the bed (two lower corners, you know). He couldn’t move much, but a little. There was enough space though for me to put a knee between his thighs and force his legs apart (fun!). After checking he got blood to his feet and everything was tied securely enough I tied up his arms in a way that he could get out of with a little work, but that would feel sturdy enough. Took some work, but I had a lot of fun (fun!). Turned out he had to. Or well, fun might not be the right word here. But he did like it. I never heard anyone so angrily ask pretty please to get to fuck me.

Had fun, got a bit unsecure about my role and dropped out of dommie headspace, loosened up the knots. Then my turn. He tied me up in some strange kneebending way that was actually both quite comfy and good, I was impressed. And much closer to a good subspace than I’ve been with anyone in ages. Interesting change is that when he untied me, I was the opposite of what I would have thought. I wasn’t all Oh THANK you LORD mighty HUGFRIEND of supersexay sir whatever, but what I said was “I’m not finished, fuck me with your hand, now”. And he said “oh, ok”. And there was light (possibly fireworks). I came out of subspace into a new and improved silia deluxe. I sort of liked that. I usually never asks for things sexually, but I realized that if I want those orgasms, I better tell. Even if he gives them often enough, I can’t just wait around like some christian girl hoping jesus will fulfill her wishes anyway. If the prophet isn’t coming to the mountain, the mountain will have to shape up and move it’s ass to the prophet.

Good night it was anyway. And I’m gonna think about it for a while longer, since it’s a month until I see him again and I just can’t bring myself to go out and pick up random person for sex in the meantime. I’m getting old and lazy.
Speaking of no sex for me, anybody have any good altporn links?

My Hidden Dream

Lady Izzabelle you tease me in so many ways,
with your delightful mischievousness.

You have told me you are no angel,
and I have seen your words,
yet what I feel in my heart tells me this isn’t so.

For my heart touched has yours
and within your dominance I feel only love.

I have come to know you
and I have found a true caring soul.

You may desire to torment,
my body for your amusement and pleasures,
yet you nurture my soul.

You have brought a dream to life,
a Goddess to worship and serve.

And you may not know this,
so I will tell you now,
you also found the dream,
the one hidden deep within my heart.

Goddess with you I desire to be so naked,
that you know all of me,
read my soul,
see me for who I am.

My hidden dream,
you found it and brought to life.

You know who I am.

My Lady,
I am your slave.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Perversity Bio-Politics Commune

“What’s better than sitting on fetlife uploading photo’s of your freshly blackened ass.
Miss Filth and Glitter holding the cane that bruises your pretty cheeks. Come out to UWMilwaukee room 344 this October 30th at 7pm for a night of mischief, BDSM, queers, theory, and orgies. Miss. F&G will talk on renewed considerations for BDSM and Queerness as a form of bio-political resistance, and the use of orgies and play parties to build stronger friendships. Don’t forget you safe word.” Now we do know that we are speaking this weekend but we need to dispell some rumors first. +Giorgio Agamben is NOT going to be there. As you may know since he is unwilling to give his bio-metrics to the goverment, he is thus not allowed in our country. +The Marquise De Sade is NOT inside one of Filth’s submissive. He was busy and thus could not join us for the lecture. Though he may still be at the play party.

Good, now that the rumours have been dispelled we can get back to business. Other than a talk this will be the first appearance of Guy Hocquenghem’s “To Destroy Sexuality” in zine format. Which can be  gotten at the lecture or downloaded from this site now. To Destroy Sexuality Enjoy! We know you will. See you this weekend,
Miss Filth and Miss Glitter. P.S. The greek anarchist are coming, as you may know Glitter went to greece last december to keep morale up by fucking the queer into them with their glitteriest of dildos. Because of this they now has small stable of queer greek anarchist who follow them everywhere, so of course they will be at the talk.

CBT for beginners

What a frustrating time it has been lately (and I don’t just mean sexually). You will recall that wearing the CB 6000 led to a chaffed left testicle which required device removal. I kept it off for about three days and invested in some fetching new undergarments – pouch style to support and encase the “equipment” in nice, soft cotton.

All seemed well so C locked the device back on and everything, initially, was hunky dory. It’s amazing how much I enjoyed being locked up again but, sadly, the chaffed area started to flame up once more. I tried to get the left bollock to man it out but he wasn’t having it so I resorted to sticking an adhesive dressing over the little chap (those of you with any imagination will see where this is heading).

The chaffing was still painful so C decided the CB was going to have to come off for at least a week until everything had healed properly. She unlocked me and off it came. I decided to remove the dressing to let everything get a bit of air and it was at this point that I discovered a new variant on CBT (and I’m not talking about cognitive behavioural therapy). Allow me to inform you that removing an adhesive dressing from an unshaven scrotum is about as unpleasant as it sounds. I was whimpering like a child by the time I’d got the bloody thing off. Never again!

So, for the moment, I’m back on will-power. I miss the CB 6000 but I guess we’re just going to have to wait. I also managed to miss my last chance of a sexual release before C’s family arrived for four days. I fell asleep and she didn’t wake me up! C is adamant that nothing’s happening while her parents sleep in the room below us so I’m going to be on day thirteen before there is any chance of an orgasm and I’m a bit concerned that C may have plans to extend it even longer.

We were chatting in bed about the fact that she enjoys the control, and is missing clicking my lock shut in the mornings, when she asked me how long I thought I could stand to be denied. I know some of you guys are locked for months but I’m not ready for that yet so I stuttered that I wasn’t, erm, sure but, er, I might lose interest if it was too long. She dropped the subject but I get the feeling she is plotting long term encasement.

I say I’m not ready yet but I am finding that my feelings change as the time lengthens. I’m on day eleven now and the intense horniness of the first week seems to be mellowing into a more peaceful acceptance of my fate. I would really like to make love to C, not with the primary aim of achieving my own orgasm, but to provide her with pleasure. It’s an interesting feeling – I just wish I was enjoying it from the comfort of the CB 6000.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Barbara Carrellas

I helgen var jag på kurs med Calle. Detta år har vi lagt tid på egen utveckling och denna kurs var en av de mest omvälvande någonsin. Kursen hölls av Barbara Carrellas, författare till boken Urban Tantra, som är en fantastisk kvinna! Jag är alldeles överväldigad över att ha träffat en människa som praktiserar samma ämnen jag är intresserad av (tantra, shamanism, sexmagi/helig magisk sex och bdsm) och integrerar dessa på ett sätt jag själv gör, men har hållit på så mycket längre.

Hon är en källa till enorm visdom, kunskap och inspiration. Jag går som i ett kärleksrus nu.

Läs mer på hennes sida Urban Tantra. Och läs boken. Yeah.

Barbara Carrellas är författare, teaterkonstnär, sexpedagog, kursledare, föredragshållare och levnadscoach bland annat.

SL Relationships That Turn Into LD RL Relationships

I was faithful, in game and out, to a man I met in the SL world for one year and three months. When I ended it, for his own sake, I retreated from SL for over two months. When I returned I run into him and his ex sub, which he is now back together again. Needless to say, I left SL again for about a month. Upon coming back I find that he now has two submissives, despite us having made fun of the ‘harem masters’ over the year+ I was with him. I finally let him have it over text, and while it helped I still bs’d with him afterward and feel as if I betrayed my feelings of betrayal.

Once again I have not been on SL for about 4 days. If I were to go about my SL life as I did before the breakup; hanging out at the same places, keeping the same hours and friends, the reality of my ex and his new twosome would be in my face constantly. It seems as if isolating myself time-and-again from SL upon those hurtful events has not lessened the pain at all.

Anyone who has experienced a SL relationship that turned RL for a long term period and then broke up:

-Did you take time away from SL? If you did, did you feel more able to handle seeing your ex or the painful reminders afterwards?

-If they have moved on to another partner/s, has that effected you emotionally or your in world habits (such as not logging in, avoiding certain places and talking to certain people)?

-If they have moved on to a new partner, has anyone had it be a friend, or one of their old lovers or even an old lover of yours? If so, how did you react and how have you handled it?

I am really hurting, end every time I log in it seems something new has popped up to make it more ridiculous. I know I have friends at a the Forum who wonder what the hell happened to me, but I just can’t chance going there and seeing him with this new girl. I had gotten used to the idea of him being with his ex, but now to have someone brand new…well I am not sure how I will be able to handle that.

Any advice or even just sharing stories would be appreciated.

Friday, 16 October 2009

Review: The Switch's Dilemma

I feel very strongly about of the lack of information about switches.  I’ve been very vocal on several bdsm boards about discrimination, misinformation, and myths clouding our reputations as play partners.  My goal was to illuminate, demystify, and provoke dialogue.

The presentation was geared to dominants and submissives.  What a surprise.  With the exception of two people, the attendees were switches.  It was a curve ball, but a pleasant one.  As I began the session literally straddling an invisible line, each face turned into expressions of recognition.   It was as if finally, we were on the same page but on different paragraphs.

ALL the attendees added their two cents worth and the time flew by.  We shared experiences and talked about solutions.   We became a small self contained support group.  I felt that all of us walked away with food for thought and discussion.   You can find my notes here:  Switches’ Dilemma

Any part of this attachment may be uses on two conditions:

  1. Do NOT change a word of it
  2. Any quotes, copies, or other representations must include the following attribution:  Nikita © 2009  http://nikita-the-writer.com

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

oops

“I’d love to see you on all four, in front of some hot guy who would just fuck you senseless”

“you.. what??”

That’s a more or less exact transcript of a discussion this sunday, when I told my very much heterosexual male play/love/hugfriend (hugfriend? I’m keeping that one, from now on, he is my hugfriend) that I’d like to see him get fucked. We didn’t get much further than that, but jumped right into the discussion about why. And why? Well, first of all, to him, being penetrated means being submissive. We all (yes, all of us) know that that’s not true, that you can be the one recieving and still be the top, or dominant. Also, to him, being penetrated is something for women and even if he is a good feminist and all, he still thinks of the female role as submissive. Which is one good reason I had so much fun tying him up and fucking him… But that’s another story.

To him, surrendering to another man and getting fucked would be the horror of horrors. He might maybe possibly let me penetrate him. But that’s a huge maybe. Why would it be so horrible? To me it’s really strange this completely hetero mindset, where he really finds men that anti-attractive. There really isn’t anything for me to compare with.

The rest of the sunday continued with constant comments in the lines of “well, you just want to see me get sodomized anyway”.
I really tried to explain that there is something irresistible with the thought of his masculine, manly beauty combined with the pain and humiliation he would feel from enjoying such a thing. Not that I know if he’d enjoy it, but if he would, that face would be just.. ah. This explanation didn’t help at all.

//silia

Monday, 12 October 2009

Drama

I hate drama and drama Queens and I started to laugh a bit when I realized over the last two years I have a very big drama going on in my life the end of my marriage. I also know I needed to go through the process to get to where I am today, I needed to know I had done everything I could in my heart and soul. I don’t know how many times I told my wife I was leaving and the marriage was over and then I would change my mind, because I wanted to try one more time to see if we could make it work. I would get angry with myself after I changed my mind, because deep down in my heart I knew she was not going to change. Love does strange things to a person, I wanted to be rational and clear headed and the feelings kept taking over.

I’m glad it is over with I learned alot about myself and what I desire in relationship.

A few days ago I realized how good it felt to say no, I said no to the woman I loved and saw as my Goddess, the woman I was devoted to. I walked away, because I want something better in my life.

Métodos de Tortura - Parte 3

Andei nestes ultimos meses pesquisando sobre métodos de tortura utilizados no BDSM, e acabei me deparando em diversos sites que relatam os métodos de tortura medievais.

Apesar de já saber que muitos dos métodos de tortura do SM são derivadas light das medievais, não pude deixar de notar que muitos dos métodos originais tem conotação sexual e estas com poucas variâncias do equivalente BDSM.

Seguem um set dividido em diversas partes com alguns métodos de tortura da idade média  (que podem ser adaptadas para o uso BDSM). Lembrem-se! SSC Sempre! Segurança, Safeword acima de tudo! Não reproduza estas práticas sem acompanhamento de um praticante experiente!

CUIDADO! CENAS E DESCRIÇÕES FORTES ADIANTE!

Berço de Judas


Peça metálica em forma de pirâmide sustentada por hastes. A vítima, sustentada por correntes, é colocada “sentada” sobre a ponta da pirâmide. O afrouxamento gradual ou brusco da corrente manejada pelo executor fazia com que o peso do corpo pressionasse e ferisse o ânus, a vagina, cóccix ou o saco escrotal.

O Berço de Judas também é conhecido como Culla di Giuda (italiano), Judaswiege (alemão), Judas Cradle ou simplesmente Cradle (inglês) e La Veille (A Vigília, em francês).

Máscaras


A máscara de infâmia proporciona simultaneamente dois diferentes tormentos: um espiritual e um físico. As vítimas eram ao mesmo tempo vítimas de humilhação pública e fisicamente torturadas.

As máscaras por vezes tinham artifícios interiores, tal como uma bola, ou lâmina que era forçada no nariz ou na boca da vítima, impedindo-a assim de gritar ou chorar. Se a vítima tentasse gritar os protestar a sua língua seria dilacerada pelas lâminas e espetos da máscara.
A máscara com orelhas longas representava uma pessoa ridícula, enquanto o com uma máscara com focinho de porco simbolizava o animal que considerava bastante sujo.

Cegonha

Este instrumento não se destinava a causar dor directamente embora esta fosse uma consequência própria da sua aplicação. A cegonha consistia numa espécie de algema que unia as mãos e os pés do torturado, impedindo-o assim de fazer qualquer tipo de movimento.

Ainda que pareça um meio de imobilização e não de tortura, a cegonha provoca após alguns minutos, fortes dores nos músculos e cãimbras que com o passar do tempo se transformam numa dor contínua e atroz. Nesta situação a vítima, pode ser maltratada e torturada ao bel prazer dos inquisidores.

Cavalete

Cadeira Inquisicional


Todas tinham uma característica em comum: eram cobertas de espetos afiados no assento, nas costas, nos braços, nas pernas e nos pés. Era um instrumento  básico no arsenal dos inquisidores.
É fácil de compreender o efeito das pontas perfurando o corpo da vítima, sendo que esta estava imobilizada por um sistema de barra de parafuso que a impedia de se mexer fazendo com que os espetos penetrassem mais profundamente.

O assento frequentemente feito de ferro podia ser aquecido. Estas inovações foram usadas na Alemanha até ao século XIX, em Itália e em Espanha até o fim do século XVIII, em França e noutros países europeus centrais, de acordo com certas fontes até ao fim do século XIX também.

A força deste instrumento reside principalmente no terror psicológico que causa e a ameaça que a tortura piorará crescentemente, adopta um modelo onde a dor começa “fácil” e então piora progressivamente. A ideia é que o Inquisidor pode interrompê-lo a qualquer momento, mediante a avaliação visual dos ferimentos infligidos.

Canga

Breast Ripper

Este cruel instrumento de tortura era frequentemente utilizado em mulheres acusadas de heresia ou adultério. Como o seu nome indica, ele era usado para rasgar lentamente os peitos das vítimas até ficarem irreconhecíveis.

Por vezes os quatro ganchos eram usados em brasa para aumentar a dor inflingida.

Breast  Torture

Nos tempos da Inquisição, as mulheres acusadas de bruxaria sofriam por vezes a chamada tortura dos peitos. Esta tortura consistia em pressionar os peitos das suspeitas, utilizando-se para o efeito duas tábuas que frequentemente estavam cobertas de espetos, provocando grande agonia na vítima.

Cinto de Castidade


A utilização do cinto de castidade remonta ao ano de 1400, quando aparece em Itália sob Francesco II de Carrara. Foi principalmente usado em Itália, mas depressa se espalha por toda a Europa, Portugal incluído.

Sempre existiram interpretações diferentes sobre o seu possível uso. Alguns historiadores declaram mesmo que o cinto de castidade não era um instrumento que tinha por objectivo inflingir sofrimento, antes pelo contrário, seria um artifício destinado a prevenir as mulheres, por exemplo quando seu marido estava ausente durante muito tempo, (situação muito frequente na época dos Descobrimentos) do possível risco de violação.

Como alguns cintos de castidade eram feitos de materiais preciosos (prata por exemplo), alguns historiadores afirmam que eles seriam dados a mulheres como para um presente dos seus maridos ou amantes para encorajá-las a serem fíeis.

Fonte: Tortura, Apocalipse 2000, Jumentrix.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Things to Mark on Your Calendar

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Thursday, 1 October 2009

Ramblings

04/06/09


I had to laugh..at least a little when I was told by more than a few of my friends that they follow my blog. But even more so was I surprised when someone e-mailed me:

“I’m curious, what is it you find most erotic about bondage?  Is it the feel of the rope against your skin?  The control it gives you?  The vulnerability it describes?  Do you enjoy it for the strength and discipline it draws forth from both Top and bottom?  Or is it the intimacy, the sharing of space & trust, the almost dance-like choreography of the tying/being tied that attracts you?

And (last question, I promise!) is it the role of rigger or model that you prefer?”

I suppose now would be as good a time as ever to jot down some elementary thoughts. Late night conversations with friends have helped me to narrow down and bring light to what I’m discovering about Shibari, and more importantly – about myself.

What do I find most erotic about bondage? Most recently, I’ve actually tried to broach the topic of Shibari and rope bondage from a strictly artistic perspective. Being so new to the scene, and realizing I have the benefit of exploring Shibari in all of its entirety with the resources I have – I wanted to take a step back and look at it from a different perspective. I love hearing people’s thoughts about why they think Shibari is beautiful. What is it that makes it beautiful for them.

As for me. If I came out and spewed forth all my thoughts about why I love being embraced by rope, well, that wouldn’t be any fun now would it? My limited experiences have taught me that I’m strongly drawn towards the sensual experience of being tied. Everything from the texture of fibers, the earthy scent of jute, and fluid movement of ropes snaking across my flesh all add to vivid memories. These moments in time are frozen in a never-ending suspension of thoughts. For the most part, I enjoy straining, testing the ropes as they restrain me in various positions. I think it definitely brings a certain epiphany I had about a comment made about me the other night:

“You don’t fight to win, you fight to prove that you’ll lose.”

Knowing that each knot, each wrap has me bound brings me mentally closer and closer to accepting, realizing, conceding in defeat.

As for the second part of the question, I’ll always love being bound in rope, but rigging and creating art is something of an undeveloped interest that I’m slowly learning about.

This should hopefully help once it arrives…