So, yesterday morning Steve got together again with J, during church as was planned. I didn’t really want him to go- I was in a terrible mood because Saturday could have been better. He left, regardless. He said later that it was even better for him because he knew I didn’t want him to go and it was bothering me that he did.
Yesterday evening, he finally got off with me for the first time since Wednesday when this all started picking up speed. He fucked my throat HARD and came in me 4 separate times, leaving me gagging, choking, spewing out & sufficating in massive gobs of his cum again & again.
I am a happy, much loved, and always adoring- cuckquean!
I’ve had yet another one of those wonderful epiphanies that makes me realize just how much of a miracle it is that I managed to become a functional adult. Aside from all of the support from my husband and friends, I’ve been able to find a tremendous amount of safety in the wearing of my collar.
When I first started this journey I really wanted nothing to do with a collar. I didn’t like what I felt it represented and it was something I never dreamed would enter into our relationship. Then I decided to give the collar a try, but with very hard and fast rules for its use. The collar got very little use over the late fall and winter months because I just wasn’t in a place where I felt I could wear it. We had so little time to connect and I felt the collar needed to be reserved for special occasions.
I wore the collar on Saturday night and found my feelings about it had changed. It still symbolized giving myself completely to him, but this wasn’t something I wanted to do every once in a while – I really did want it all the time. There is something so comforting about the feel of the leather against my neck, the momentary discomfort if I move in the wrong way, and finally the knowledge that I am his girl. Being his girl is more than just objectification (yet another concept I wanted nothing to do with). It means while I am here for him to use as he pleases, he’s here to love me, cherish me, and most importantly at this time, to keep me safe.
I find such bliss is being used in this fashion. I don’t have to make any decisions. I can express desires, but he gets the final say. I am completely fine with him fucking my throat and allowing me to drink his cum (my favorite activity right now) and I could care less about having an orgasm myself, I am just so happy to be of service.
As much as I want to, I can’t wear the collar all the time. While it is a very nice one (dark red leather with a swirl design cut into it), explaining it to my kids and others is too much for me to even think of handling at the moment. I’ll be going out tomorrow to get the supplies at long last to make my everyday collar – a beaded choker with a Celtic knotwork design on it. I want this so much – I even asked permission to add collared to my status on Fetlife.
My mantra for the moment:
I’m his girl, and he loves me and wants to make me happy, keep me safe and cherish me. My task is to accept this as true and to trust my Master.
I have deep reservations and criticisms about this work and would love to corner the author sometime for a long talk and caffeine fueled debate over 21st century sex work, but I’ll spare both you and her.
Available now at Amazon and pretty much anywhere books aren't being burned
The writer, a Sarah Lawrence grad and teacher up at SUNY Purchase, spent four years as a professional dominatrix while working on her undergraduate degree. This book tells the story. I may not dig everything here and cringe a little during her interviews (through no fault of the writer’s own, I should add), but I am 100% percent behind people in stigmatized work, especially sex work, getting their stories out there. I applaud her and hope that’ll be echoed by stampedes of folk going to buy her book. Find out all about Melissa Febos here. Buy the book here.
A fellow Fetlifer posted this…It really made me laugh.
“BDSM doesnt start or stop with sex.
It can be a component of it, to be sure, but there are many facets that can be explored fully clothed and an asexual fashion.
Its like Bacon, you can enjoy bacon any time you want, its delicious, smells wonderful and fills the hole in your tummy.
But, you can add bacon to just about everything else and make it better ! Bacon & eggs, bacon butties, bacon wrapped steak, bacon bits in the chili! bacon bits in the salad, chocolate covered bacon (its tasty!), bacon wrapped bacon with bacon cheese ! bacon burgers ! bacon wrapped sausages, bacon wrapped tofu (it might make tofu edible!).
So, there you have it.
BDSM is Bacon.”
He probably said it better than I have in any of my posts.
How does this Ruin My Wife trainer resist deep-throating this bitch I’ll never know. But Dave does a great job demonstrating his rope skills in binding Jasmine Lau’s arms behind her back, leaving her helpless to his perverted groping and violation of her sweet sweet pussy.
Here’s a free promo. For the full video visit: http://www.ruinmywife.com
Beau to Beau has recently published gay erotica. Books are available at http://www.beautobeau.com, 1Erotic ebooks, 1Romance ebooks, All Romance ebooks. These are written by B.J. Scott, are very XXX rated, sensual, sexual, adult content, filled with excitement, multiple partners, a little BDSM, all the good stuff!!
